Thursday, September 17, 2009

Brown Pelicans at Sunset

Tonight was one of the most beautiful nights I’ve ever seen in San Francisco.


Right before leaving work I talked to my coworker about how much we love the beach and we drifted off into designing our dream office, complete with an ocean view out of a retractable wall of windows, salty sea air and the cry of seagulls marking each hour of the work day. With this still on my mind as I drove home up the Embarcadero with the windows down, I was inspired to get out of the house and enjoy our well earned Indian Summer weather. Armed with my house keys, iPod, and a light sweater which no native San Franciscan leaves home without, I walked down Polk St. to Aquatic Park en route to Fort Mason and Marina Green.

At the very tip of the park just below the hill to Fort Mason, I stopped to watch a sea lion play around a small green fishing boat, entertaining the dozens of locals and snap-happy tourists on the pier. As I started to turn up the hill a flock of brown pelicans caught my eye, flying in perfect graceful form, gliding just above the surface of the bay, effortlessly. The brown pelican is one of the most awe inspiring, beautiful things in San Francisco; every time I am lucky enough to see them it stops me in my tracks as if a celebrity crossed my path, or like I've caught a glimpse of the northern lights; better take it all in and soak up every second, because this doesn’t come along every day. Except here it does. The pelicans fly every evening, but they’re just so beautiful and perfect that I can’t help but want to watch them for hours on end.

As the pelicans glided onward, I took a look back across the iridescent pink and purple water at Russian Hill behind me and “wow” rolled right out of my mouth. The city looked so perfectly packaged, staged almost, like Disneyland, feeling that there is no way something real could look that perfect. The clock tower at Ghiradelli Square dominated the cluster of red, pink and white buildings on the hill, disproportionately similar to the Main Street USA train station, complete with clear round bulb lights defining its classical structure. Just beyond the clock tower the TransAmerica building protruding from the skyline commanding attention, much like the Anaheim Matterhorn. I became suddenly aware of myself and realized I was ogling like a lovestruck teenager, so I continued on my route.

Coming up the hill toward Fort Mason, a crew team paddled by, leaving Alcatraz in its wake. I zigzagged slowly up the hill watching them push toward the horizon under the Golden Gate Bridge. “Oh my” sat on my breath as the sunset over the bridge was revealed beyond the terracotta roof of Festival Pavilion. I walked down the shaded path to a clearing in the beach trees until the beauty itself brought me to a halt. A wide open view of the entire span of the bridge, San Francisco to Sausalito, sat proudly before me. The water now a cool glittering periwinkle, the twinkling lights of the bridge leading upward to the orange glow of the setting sun. Pink clouds hung low and painted the sky for the finishing touch. I couldn’t move. Seagulls sang a perfect soundtrack to the surreal scene before me, a bay cruise ship happily danced across the water with white lights lining each deck. Each breath got deeper and slower. I just wanted to drink it all in, to somehow capture it and watch it over and over again. It was like the last day of vacation, where you can’t help but just stare at the view before you with eyes wide, trying, hoping, to take as much in as you can, inhaling to smell the air around you, and immortalize the moment.

As the sky tinted from orange to purple, I took one last deep breath and turned for home, checking over my shoulder every few steps to catch the last of the perfect evening. Maybe part of the evening’s beauty laid in the fact that it was just another night, a random Thursday that I decided to take a walk after a long day of work. Maybe part of it was not needing my sweater after sundown. And maybe part of it was realizing how much this city has to offer. I smiled the whole way home thinking to myself “I can’t believe I live here”.

It was one of the most beautiful nights I’ve ever seen in San Francisco.

Monday, June 1, 2009

AIDS LifeCycle Day Two 6.1.09

Day Two: Monday, June 1, 2009
Santa Cruz to King City (108 mi.)

"The Quadbuster"

For some reason I'm finding it very easy to draw on early childhood experiences to illustrate my feelings and experiences with Curtis' adventure on the AIDS LifeCycle. I guess that makes my adventure this week trying to figure out the reasons for that, so check in on Saturday as he crosses the finish line in Westwood, Los Angeles and as I cross the publish line for my last post of this series.

...

Remember that feeling on your first day of elementary school each year? How you aren't sure which you're more excited for: to show off your new clothes and the latest TrapperKeeper or to see who your teacher will be and who is in your class? It's a cocktail of excitement, nerves, hope of a fresh start, relief to see old friends, anticipation of upcoming challenges; sometimes served straight up, others on the rocks, some with a twist. Mom wakes you up, adrenaline gets you out of bed, enthusiasm carries you to school. Once you get there everything is shiny and new; classrooms smell like new carpet with a hint of fresh paint, the rulers and erasers on the desks are clean and unmarked, the name tags crisp and upright. And the excitement lasts through morning, and depending on your class, through the afternoon, until you realize the long 9month haul that awaits you. What's this? What's this quivering emptiness in my stomach? What's this mild strain in my heart? The weight suddenly on my shoulders? Dread. Dread that there are 9months of early mornings, homework, tests, bullies, conferences, report cards...

These first-day-of-school-jitters overwhelmed me upon waking up on Day Two of the ALC (though the dread hit much earlier when I realized that I had no new clothes to show off or new classmates to look forward to, and that reality was I had another long unfulfilled day at work ahead of me complete with dried out highlighters, malfunctioning printers, rapidly approaching deadlines). Before my feet even hit the floor, I glue my cell phone to my hip anxiously awaiting my morning text message that the second leg has begun. I fantasize about the ALC campsite pre departure: motivational speeches over a carbo-loaded high-protein breakfast with a side of adrenaline and a glass of anticipation, roaring cheers from warrior-like men and women with sweat already dripping from their snarling faces after an intense warm up of sprints, jousting and the caber toss; they rush the field to their stallions, screaming and chanting; a scene reminiscent of the final battle in "Braveheart". I think about the rest stops filled with pie and cookies and sugary snacks, served by plump women with silver hair and rosy cheeks, whistling show tunes as bubbles in the shape of music notes float through the air. I think about the campsite at the end of the day's ride with clouds for massage tables and a Viking's feast in a circus tent beside a bonfire crackling the tune of a jig... I crack a smile at my ridiculousness, swish the rainbows and butterflies from my mind's eye and continue on with my morning, when the nerves start to creep up my spine. Knowing he has a long day ahead of him a brief panic sets in, supplemented by an incessant worry. I hope it doesn't rain. Then the dread sets in. The dread that we still have 108mi. to go. And when I say "we", I mean that he has 108mi. to ride, and I have 108mi. to worry.

6:27am - "Omg this is so cold."

11:00am - "Just got to lunch. 50 more miles to go today. I'm keeping pace with two san deigo dudes."

1:00pm - "40 more miles to go."

2:22pm - "Mile 77."

3:48pm - "15 more to go".

4:50pm - "just made it to camp."

5:02pm - "I gotta shower and head to the medical tent. Don't worry, I just have a lot of aches."

5:43pm - "Ok! I gotta do some things so i'll call you when that's over!"

7:35pm - called to chat

9:06pm - "goodnight."

AIDS LifeCycle Day One 5.31.09

Day One: Sunday, May 31, 2009
Daly City to Santa Cruz (80mi.)
It's still dark. I haven't been up this early since my parents used to drive my sister and I to Disneyland for a weekend vacation. We'd hop in the car, still in our pajamas and half asleep. Whispering for no other reason than we're "not supposed to" be awake yet and feeling like it's still the middle of the night, tiptoeing around in a near hurry as if we were trying to sneak out before the sun came up and exposed our plan. Pack our pillows and our favorite stuffed animals; mom and dad pack the suitcase; put the cooler of milk, lunch meat, and condiments in between the two front seats of the minivan; pack the grocery bag of mini cereal boxes, bread and road snacks between my middle bench seat and the sliding side door. Then back to sleep until we wake up in front of the "Welcome to Disneyland" sign as if Mickey brought us there by his own magic.

This still-dark morning doesn't feel quite the same as those of my early childhood, however I still have that twinge of excitement which washes away any exhausted burning in my sleepy eyes. Replace pajamas for bike gear, teddy bears for camelbacks, milk and cereal with Red Bull and Cliff Bars. We've been training for this for months now; he on the bike, and I in my patience. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm proud, I'm sad, I'm worried, I'm confident...

4:00am - up and at 'em
I can't believe I'm doing this...
I'm so excited for him, but I'm so worried for him!
4:50am - en route to the Cow Palace
Crack me open a Red Bull.
Coffee would have been a good idea...
5:15am - arrive at Cow Palace
Here we go...!
Man these people are crazy.
5:30am - check in, breakfast
Sweet, Cinnamon rolls?!!
Is that going to be enough breakfast for the next 70 miles?
6:00am - Opening Ceremonies, warm up
I'm nervous.
This is so exciting!
6:30am - Announcements: we raised $10.5million!!
Holy Sh*t.
Oh my God! That's so powerful.
6:45am - to the bikes!
I'm ready!!
Ah! Here we go! Exciting, but sad.
6:55am - hop on and say goodbye
Here I go! I'll miss you.
Ride safe and have fun! I'll miss you.
7:00am - the ride begins! supporters cheer on the riders.
I'm doing this. Let's go!
Where is he? Where is he?
7:10am - exit Cow Palace and hit the road
Bye!!
There he is! There he is! Bye!!! Good luck!!!

8:45am - Rest stop one
"I'm doing good. No matter how many I pass there are always a thousand more ahead of me."
Phew! So far so good. So happy for him! This is so exciting.
8:55am - Back on the road
"Only 55 miles left."
Ok, well I can sleep better now. zzzzz...
10:45am - Lunch stop
"...this is killer...also my ass hurts."
He's doing so great!
12:00pm (??) On the road again
2:05pm - Rest stop three
"Only another 20 or so and I'm there."
Wow, I'm so impressed. He's amazing!
2:10pm - Pie Break!
Pleasant surprise.
Haha, random.
2:15pm (??) Back on the road for the last leg
2:45pm - Arrive in Santa Cruz!
I made it! It wasn't that bad either. Tired, but doing good.
Congratulations! I'm so impressed. Have a great time and get some rest!
8:00pm Bed time
I miss you.
I miss you.
9:15pm Goodnight
Goodnight.
Goodnight.



Wednesday, March 18, 2009

How To Be Unemployed, Successfully

In the current tragic state of our continually worsening economy, and with more and more layoffs becoming eminent, stretching our resources and using our imagination is now more important than ever. Having been laid off myself a few months back (fortunately, I've found work since), and having quite an alarming number of friends and acquaintances been recently laid off, I am inspired to share my thoughts on How To Be Unemployed, Successfully.

While the completely natural first reaction to unemployment is a minor panic attack, a quick bout of depression, maybe a swing of anger followed by a wave of frustration, unemployment does not have to be all that bad. At least not on the surface. Of course there will be stress of finding new or creative ways to make ends meet, but everyone needs a break from stress. So in the meantime...

Step 1: Breathe.
It's incredible easy to get sucked into the downward spiral of anxiety while unemployed, especially in today's economy. And, if you in any way identify with the general public, you'll probably spend a few days ripping your hair out trying to figure your life out in as little time as possible. However, in the long run, this only delays the process of productively moving forward. Take it all in stride and realize "ok, I can do this", and proceed to step two.

Step 2: Evaluate your options.
While I'm sure most people's first choice would be to continue along your current career path, take a look at what else is out there. With times being pretty rough, maybe allow yourself some flexibility. Nothing is permanent**, and not everything has to go on your resume. And those time gaps between jobs on your resume? With mass layoffs being headline news nearly everyday, employers certainly understand your 6 months between jobs. Do a little soul searching and ask yourself if there's something you've always wanted to do but never had the guts to try it. Look for your dream company and see if there are any positions available and jump at whatever one they have (providing you meet at least most of the qualifications). Opportunities are out there, you just have to have a little bit of an open mind and flexibility. Also, bug your friends and throw your resume everywhere you can. You never know who knows who. Part time jobs at your favorite restaurant or local boutique are not bad ideas either. You can collect partial unemployment while working part time (though I'm unsure of specifics).


Step 3: Plan your time line.
I'm a list maker, so much so that if I've already completed something I've been meaning to do, I'll write it down just to cross it out. This translated into scheduling. Not everyone agrees with scheduling, and frankly, yes I find it kind of depressing to literally plan out your day by the hour like a high school class schedule. However, it gave me realistic goals to reach in specific and short time frames. For example:

9:00am wake up (because let's be real, if I was still working for The Man I'd be up at 6, so enjoy)
9:30am check email, facebook, linked-in
10:00am get on criagslist and apply to at least 4 jobs
1:00pm lunch/get outside* (more on that later)
3:00pm check email, facebook
3:30pm check other career search websites (monster.com, careerbuilder.com, dice.com)
4:30pm google search
5:30pm get outside/happy hour with those lucky enough to be employed still
5:30pm to whenever: do nothing job related. Finding a job is now your new job. And, we don't want to work overtime if we're not going to get paid for it!

Also, give yourself bigger-picture time lines and goals. Keep a record of the companies you applied to, contact info, date you applied, then follow up with various jobs in a week (or however long you're comfortable with). Maybe set a goal of landing a first interview within 2 or 3 weeks, and so on. Having goals set farther out will help move your days along if you have something to work for.

Step 4: Get outside.
Seriously, this is what got me through my unemployment. It's amazing what boredom can do for creativity; have fun with it! And, get really creative and challenge yourself to spending little to nothing at each outing. I am incredibly fortunate to live in a fantastic area in one of the best cities in the world, so this was pretty easy for me. For those living in the SFBA, you've got it great, just look around. I could (and might) go on for a whole other blog post with suggestions of cheap and free fun things to do in and around San Francisco (my previous blog posts detail some of these). To name a few:

-Think about a part of the city you haven't explored yet and research parks, cafes, galleries, and museums in that area. Many museums throughout the city have one day during the week with free or discounted admissions, and most galleries are free to explore.

-Get out of the city via BART ($6), CalTrain ($7), ferry ($7), bus ($1.50), bike ($0) or car (gas) and head across the Bay for a hike in the Marin Headlands, a coffee ($3) or gelato ($4) in Sausalito, pack a lunch and picnic on the beach in Half Moon Bay, head out for a bike ride along the coast...

-Too cold out? Reorganize your bedroom. Lose yourself in the cleaning of your closet, the purging of old junk you've been meaning to get rid of, trying on old clothes that don't fit and pack them up to sell to Buffalo Exchange (normally I'd say for Goodwill, but hey, times are tough for us too). However you don't have to be in San Francisco to do this :).

-Walk to a nearby cafe armed with your computer and do your job search from there. A change of scenery and the buzz of nearby conversations can be quite stimulating.

-Go to the library. Read, research, people watch...surprisingly entertaining.

Step 5: Make money.
Find ways to bring money in while you're waiting to hear back from other employers. Check out the "gigs" section of Craigslist; I've seen a number of posts for resume reviews, cover letter writing, editing...all things that you can do from home in a short amount of time and make you a few extra dollars. What are you good at and can you make money doing it? Who knows, this could turn into the entrepreneurial window you never knew you were looking for! Sell your space-taking dust-collecting junk; cleaning out your closet/room/apartment will not only feel good but you can reap some monetary rewards from doing so. Like dogs? Walk them. Like kids? Babysit them.

Step 6: Relax, & Stay Positive.
It's hard. It's frustrating. But it wont last forever. A part time job, a new career path, odd jobs, living unemployment check to unemployment check is understandably not ideal, I know. And taking a moment here to get back to the harsh reality, it is a pretty scary time. My point though, is that freaking out and falling into depression have not proved to be very productive. So take the energy you save from not stressing too much, and use that as your motivation to do your best to stay positive, look ahead, and move forward.

And, get outside. :)

Good luck out there.



( **This was my strategy and my motto in my last job search while unemployed. There were paths I wanted to explore, but knowing my personal financial situation and acquired lifestyle, I knew I had to just do something. So I took a job that was not anywhere near my dream job, nor was it even on my career path. I just happened to get incredibly lucky and ended up really liking the company and my job. I went into it though, with the mindset of "I'll give it 6 months, or until the economy starts to improve", and I made the most of it focusing on the fair salary and the great company benefits. Part of me wishes I would have pursued other avenues a little stronger prior to taking the plunge into this new job, but hey, I'm at work right now and blogging away, so it's not all bad! )